Flirt
by Lillidappler
Summary: Haru gets upset when Tsuna keeps ignoring her on their cake expedition, so she steals his phone. Curious about the person he seems to be flirting with, she sets up a ploy to meet the mysterious person, which ends well only for her. The story continues as she founds a yaoi fanclub to get the unwitting flirters together, unleashing dangerous females upon Namimori.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own KHR. Enjoy. **

Haru sighed happily as she took another bite of her strawberry shortcake. _So delicious… _she thought, eyes closed so she could focus on the pure bliss in her mouth.

_Tap tap tap tap tap. _Haru opened her eyes to find her friend Tsuna clicking away on a smartphone. There was a 'vroop' sound as he sent a message. Haru glared at him.

"You know, I put a lot of time into planning this full-day cake expedition, and we've just started desu. Don't ruin it for me. And eat your cake before I do, hahi!"

Haru angrily gestured at the raspberry cheesecake in front of him. Tsuna's face flushed a bit. "Sorry, it's just that-" His phone dinged as he got another message. He checked it and then smiled warmly. "Give me that, desu!"

Haru angrily snatched the phone from him, fending off grabby hands trying to reclaim the device with a fork. After assuring herself that he won't try any funny business (with a knife in one hand) she began to check today's messages.

_K.E- are you busy today?_

_Tunafish- yeah, I promised to go to a bunch of cake shops with haru. :/_

_K.E- thats too bad. no one is at my house today, so I was hoping we could spend some time together…_

_Tunafish- aw… i'm not booked this evening, though, so i'll sneak out to see you. _

_K.E- awesome! what time?_

_Tunafish- how about eight?_

_K.E.- sounds good. how are the cakes?_

_Tunafish- i havent started on mine, so i'm assuming good. harus practically moaning every time she takes a bite. its a tad disturbing. _

_K.E.- …. *raises eyebrow*_

_Tunafish- what?_

_K.E.- nuthin, just thinking. _

_Tunafish- 'bout what?_

_K.E.- the sweetest thing that i know of. _

_Tunafish- ooh, i was always one for desserts. what is it? _

_K.E. you. :) _

Haru blinked at the obvious flirting. _Tsuna never told me he was in a relationship…_

Plotting mischief, she began to type on his phone.

_Tunafish- aw…_

_K.E. :)_

_Tunafish- do you want to join us with the cake expedition?_

_K.E.- wont that bother haru, though? _

_Tunafish- hold on, let me ask her. _

Haru waited a minute, glancing up at Tsuna, who looked absolutely terrified.

_Tunafish- she's okay with it. let me give you the cake shops address. _

_K.E.- ok_

_Tunafish- 1827 namimori boulevard,_

_K.E.- ok. i'll be over asap. ;)_

Haru closed the phone and smirked. Tsuna felt shivers go down his spine at the smile. _Not good… _

About fifteen minutes later, a redhead walked into the shop, spotted Tsuna, and jogged over to their booth. "Hi, Tsu-chan!"

Tsuna blinked. "Enma! What're you doing here?"

The crimson eyed boy who was apparently named Enma blinked. "You told me to come here, Tsu-chan."

Tsuna sighed. "Nope, she must have. Haru stole my phone."

Haru ignored the comment. "So mean, Tsuna~! You never told me that you had a girl, er, boyfriend!"

"What." The couple deadpanned in unison.

"Have you not seen your texts, desu? It's flirting, hahi!"

Tsuna's face flushed. "Wait, Haru I think-"

"Oh, quit denying, desu. Now kiss and show Haru some good BL~" Haru held her phone up as if expecting something picture-worthy.

"What's BL, Haru?" Tsuna tilted his head, not knowing what she was talking about.

"Oh! You don't know what it is? Let Haru pull up a picture for you!"

Haru tapped on her phone for half a minute, and then showed the couple a very… vivid scene involving two guys. Naked.

Tsuna fainted and Enma freaked out. "Oh my god! Tsuna, wake up! Haru, hail a cab, we need to get to a hospital!"

"Oh, so you're into the whole 'doctor me' thing? Or is it a nurse fetish?"

Haru wasn't much help. Enma ended carrying Tsuna to the hospital while Haru flipped out over 'shounen ai', 'yaoi', and 'being carried bridal-style'. Enma didn't know what it meant, nor did he feel like he wanted to.

**I have no idea where that came from… *blushes* **

**~Lillidappler **


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own KHR. Enjoy. **

"Oh! Thank god Tsuna, you're awake!"

"Ugh… Enma, I don't feel well… and I had the weirdest dream where we were at a cake shop and Haru had really gross pictures."

"Hahi! You mean these?" The still half-asleep Tsuna, who was lying on a hospital bed, wearily regarded the picture on Haru's phone.

"Yeah, tha-a-aat…" Tsuna fainted again as his frazzled mind computed what he was looking at. Haru sighed.

"Geez, Tsuna, how can you faint over french kissing?"

"Haru what are you… never mind, I probably don't want to know." Enma looked away from Haru to focus on his bedridden friend.

"Get well, soon, Tsuna…"

Haru turned her phone on, hoping for some good video material. "What are you doing?" "Nothing…" she said suspiciously, closing the phone.

* * *

_0027 Yaoi Fanclub Meets Here Every Wednesday! _

Hibari stared disbelievingly at the sign posted on the door. The door to the reception room. _His _reception room.

"What is the meaning of this, herbivores…." Hibari sort of trailed off as he took in the room. It was covered, top to bottom, with posters of guys. Ones that were doing extremely explicit things, to be precise.

Haru and a bunch of other girls were sitting at the table he had held meetings at, looking up from their pictures of two herbivores (Enma and Tsuna) to stare at Hibari.

"Hahi! It's nice to see you, Hibari. Would you like to join us, desu?" For once, Hibari set aside his carnivorous pride and slooowly backed out of the room, gently closed the door, and ran away like a bat out of hell.

_Time to find a new reception room, _he thought, grimacing. _Wait, did that girl even go to this school? _

Shaking away confusing thoughts, he ran to the roof so he could get some much needed fresh air and a pick-me-up song from Hibird.

* * *

"Enma, it looks like this is the end…"

"Tsuna, _never _say that."

"But we're outnumbered!"

Tsuna frantically waved his arms to the girls around them.

"Tsuna, when you were bullied…"

Tsuna winced as painful memories resurfaced.

"…there was only one thing you could do."

Tsuna nodded, understanding what Enma was saying.

"RUN!"

**Muahaha… and so Tsuna, Enma and possibly even Hibari get mobbed by yaoi-crazed fangirls. How amusing. **

**-Lillidappler**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own KHR. Enjoy. **

"Put this on." Tsuna reluctantly took the clothes from the crazy girl. After being chased and captured by a mob of fangirls (of what, he wasn't sure), he and Enma were dragged to a mall.

After changing, he stepped outside the dressing room. The girl and a few of her acquaintances cooed, some snapping pictures at the black skinny jeans and grey hoodie he had on. After the thirty second interval, more clothes were shoved at him.

After changing (at this point, he accepted his role as a life-sized dress up doll) he stepped outside again and rolled his eyes as the girls squealed at the loose black slacks and red V-neck sweater.

More clothes. Tsuna paused at this set. "…S-skirt?"

"Uh-huh. Put 'em on!"

"Um… do I have to?"

"I'd like you to…" The hanger in her hand was menacingly held up. Tsuna grudgingly complied.

* * *

"So who's the uke and who's the seme?"

"At the moment, it appears to be Tsuna as the uke, but it could change."

The idle chatter of yaoi fangirls was interrupted as Enma stepped out of a dressing room wearing grey jeans and a white shirt with red, black and grey splatter art on it. All of the girls held two thumbs up.

"Winner."

* * *

"I'm very confused right now." Tsuna, who was dressed in orange shorts and a yellow-and-orange striped t-shirt, stated his emotions to his friend sitting across him.

"Your guess is as good as mine. Those crazy girls held us prisoner, dressed us up, and then dumped us in a restaurant, more or less. They're still here."

"What?" Tsuna stood up from his booth seat to look around. Sure enough, the girls were still here. He sighed, sitting down.

"Whatever. I'm starved after playing Barbie. We might as well eat."

* * *

"The date is going well…"

"Yeah. By the way, did you buy that skirt for Tsuna?"

"No, but I got pictures. We could go back later to get it if you want."

"Hm… Haru shall consider it."

Haru was, at the moment, enjoying her role as the president of a yaoi fan club.

* * *

Hibari had always been a carnivore. Top of the food chain, second to none. Now… he was second to someone.

"Listen, do not get in the way of their relationship. They don't realize it, but they're very in love with each other, and we don't want it screwed up. Only bite them to death when it'll cause for the injured person to get special care from the other, since it'll further along their relationship. Got it?"

Hibari nodded, as he couldn't speak since he was gagged. And, to his frustration, tied to a chair. With a baseball bat wielding, outright batty female standing in front of him.

His life at the moment sucked.

"… were you listening just now?" The bat swung over a shoulder menacingly.

Yup. It sucked big time.

**I needed to update this fic, and so I did! Ha… I love this story. Not one of my most popular ones, but it's up there when it comes to favorites. ^^**

**On a happy and unrelated note… My science and English summer homework is done! Yay! (School starts on the 27****th****. Still have to memorize something for History. Ugh. At least I have a good memory. I lucked out on that one.)**

**-Lillidappler  
**


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